I think I want to go to Oregon University and study Medieval Studies. If not Medieval, then Poetics or Rhetoric. I think I should take a Latin course online during my off-time with CSU.

Here is the reading list for medieval: http://english.uoregon.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/MedievalReadList.pdf

Here is the reading list for poetry and poetics: http://english.uoregon.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/PoetryReadList.pdf

Here is the reading list for poetry and poetics: http://english.uoregon.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Rhet-Composition-SE-Reading-List2.pdf

God, I would really like to have a teaching position - doing something I like. I admit I do not deserve a position like that. I admit I do not need a position like that. I admit I need to learn through the suffering I am currently experiencing. Help me to do so, btw. But, I would really like a position where I can think and study with others. I believe you can give me a position like that. I think the one in NJ would be a good prospect. Help me to treat my current co-workers and clients well. Help me to love them and show them Christ. Help me to work hard. Help me not to be ashamed when I fail. Help me to enjoy my work. Help me to love my graduate classes. Help me to have energy to be engaged, take classes, and work full-time. I trust you to read this and to respond appropriately. Change my selfish heart.

how i wonder

whispered

softly,

darkly

down

unseen

kisses

brush my

brow

stalking

forest,

wading

stream,

sailing

midnight

ocean

gleam

zephyr's

roamings

find in

me

a para-

mour of

twilight

breeze.

When I walk in after my lunch break, it's as though a year has passed. Though little has physically changed, I barely recognize the spirit of the place. There's a moment of awkward scrutiny, as everyone scrambles to remember those by-gone relationships from what must seem like remote antiquity. Then, the kids burst out in simultaneous recognition and joy, consummating our long-anticipated (but never hoped for) reunion. Deniesha outwardly rebukes me by silently and forcefully cleaning every available surface. She doesn't look up as the kids run to me one by one to hug my legs or hang from my waist. Her quick, angry swipes with the slopping rag accuse me of absconding, like a binge-partying father who only sneaks back home, head held deceptively low, to panhandle just enough from his own family's mouth for one more round of drinking and debauchery. I know I'm expected to feel some sense of shame or regret, but I can tell that, despite her outward demeanor, Deniesha is secretly glad to see me. After all, she can now leave the classroom's perpetual chaos to go "plan" in the soft-cushioned chair by the lobby's water cooler.

Cars beneath my window
Push and shove and swerve,
Red hostile lines.

Chrome kids told to "share"
but honk and scream when someone
takes their lane.

Life's no better. Too damn
fast, not wide enough
for two of us.

No one gets to where they want,
Not how they'd like, with mild
Green lights.

Roads like these
You stick her out, fight hard,
and pray the long end's yours.

The Call

Ringtone.
Her whispers fragment on
My ear
Crumbling like last fall's leaves,
Bruised thin.
She sniffles, starts, then stops,
Pleading
Quietly, Forcefully.

Static.
She knows I know she hurts.
But waits,
Reeling back more and more,
Leading.
She sets the hook in guilt,
And pulls
Wearing me down to speak.

"Sorry."

How can you strike the mouth

You feed?

She hungers to hear that word.

"Ok."

And with that short rebuke,

Relieved,

Hangs-up in victory.

I slip beneath a sagging willow

Sweat drains away my strength and will, oh

Break has begun but now the work begins.

The root of my distress is well-known

The fruit of my hard labor's unknown

Straining [grasping] for answers I search among the leaves.

Some boughs are kept in senseless shadow

Reminding me of my short life's woe

Never have I been favored with kind light.

But other branches sport their


Light sun gives they catch and keep and make their own
They do not mourn or wait for better light
But take what each moment the sun gives